TITLE: The Memory Remains
AUTHOR: Selina
ARCHIVE: HMFF (Di. . .?) and MFFS. Others, ask.
RATING: Hard R, maybe soft NC-17. . .nothing too graphic.
PAIRING: Eh. Varies.
DISCLAIMER: Don�t own them, no money being made, didn�t happen. Dammit.
SUMMARY: A studio assistant from the past returns, turning Lars� life upside-down.
WARNINGS: Um. . .language, sexual content and insinuations, the usual. No violence in this one, though. Oh yeah, and this is gonna be like, angst-central, lol This is het, too, by the way.
NOTES: This is full of flashbacks, so they�ll be marked with ***** and italicized. As always, scene changes are marked with ~*~. Takes place the tour after the TBA tour (don�t recall the name). Flashbacks are during the recording of TBA. I think that�s all. . .

�The Memory Remains�
~By Selina~

Chapter 1

�Where�s Jason?� James looked at his watch.

�I don�t know, but he�d better get here. We need to get this show on the fucking road,� Lars grumbled.

�He called me while he was on his way and said that he had some kind of surprise for us. . .� Kirk said.

�It had better be the fucking tour schedule or��

�Speak of the devil.�

Jason walked in the door of the little coffee shop and looked around, bouncing over to the table once he saw them, smiling so brightly that it was almost blinding. �Guess what I found. . .or should I say WHO?�

�Jason, we don�t have time for��

�SELINA!�

Kirk immediately spit his coffee out over the table as Lars started choking, James patting his back hard.

�Selina? Bob�s little assistant chick Selina? Sexy as hell Selina? The Selina that��

�Yes, yes, yes, and probably,� Jason answered, sitting down.

Kirk bit his lip, smiling thoughtfully as a few seconds of silence rounded the table.

�So she�s back, eh?� Lars swallowed past the lump in his throat. . .

*****

Lars yawned as he fell onto the couch, head in Kirk�s lap as he curled up sleepily.

�Why are we all here if Bob isn�t even here yet?� Kirk struggled to keep his eyes open.

�He came in earlier but said that he had to go pick up his new assistant,� James replied.

�His new--�

Voices outside along with a heavy door closing sounded through the walls. The three of them stood up and went outside to see Bob walking into the booth behind someone. Lars pushed his way through and followed them down the hall, stopped at the door and putting his ear to it.

�We also need to turn the drums down. . .� he heard someone say.

He barged into the room, seeing a woman standing there looking through a notebook. He was caught off-guard at first, but then remembered that they were trying to turn his drums down. . .AGAIN. . . �HEJ! The fucking drums are fine where they are!� he shouted.

The woman looked up at him with indifference for a moment, as if trying to recognize him. She closed the notebook she was holding and set it on the desk. �You must be the drummer.�

Lars glared at her before turning and walking out, mumbling, �Fisse. . .�

�Pikslikker.�

Whipping back around, he saw her nonchalantly going back through the notebook. He smirked at her when she glanced at him. He extended his hand. �I�m Lars.�

�I�m not interested.�

He dropped his hand, going back to glaring at her as he walked back out, mumbling under his breath.

*****

�Are you ok?�

Lars� mind snapped back to the present to see Kirk, James, and Jason staring at him with concern in their eyes. He felt Kirk put an arm around him.

�You look a little pale,� James commented.

�I�m fine. When is she supposed to show?�

�She�ll be at the first gig.�

Lars nodded. �Great,� he thought. �That�ll give me three weeks to get my balls out of my throat. . .�

~*~

James raised an eyebrow at Lars as he paced and bounced around the locker room. �What the fuck are you on, man?�

�Nothing. . .� Lars answered breathlessly.

�Did Selina always get you so wound up?� he grinned as he took a sip of beer. Lars glared at him as Kirk burst into laughter.

The locker room door opened as Jason walked in, laughing and looking behind himself. As he moved out of the way, Selina appeared. Lars froze in place, barely breathing.

Shrieking happily, Kirk dropped his guitar and ran over to her, picking her up and swinging her around as she laughed. �SELINAAAAAA!!!�

�. . .Kirk. . .� she returned with a smile as he set her down.

James stood up and walked over to them. �You�ll have to excuse Kirk. He hasn�t gotten laid since you left.�

�Fuck you!� Kirk retorted, flipping him off.

�How are ya, babe?� James asked as he hugged her.

�Good, good.� She pulled away, seeing Lars on the other side of the room. �Lars.�

All he could do was stare. . .

~~~

Chapter 2

Lars� eyes filled with tears from the years of repressed emotions. He blinked them away and swallowed past the lump in his throat. �Selina.�

�Well, now that we�ve got that accomplished. . .� James joked.

Kirk snickered as Selina punched him in the arm. She turned back to Lars. �What? You�re not even going to give me a hug?�

Smiling half-heartedly, he finally unplanted his feet from the ground, walking slowly and unsteadily towards her. Selina met him half-way, and he wrapped his arms weakly around her. His grip soon tightened, however, when the familiarity washed over him of her being in his arms again. He shut his eyes, remembering their last moment together. . .

*****

�I can�t believe I�m never going to see you again.�

�That�s because you will,� Selina smiled. �I�m not stepping out of your life for good.�

�How can you be so sure? You might die driving all the way back up to Seattle or when you�re moving to Maine next week or--�

�I�m not going to die--�

�But how do you know?�

Selina put her finger gently on his lips and gave him a stern look. �I�m not.�

Lars wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly, desperately trying to hold in the tears that were threatening to break. Selina rubbed his back soothingly as he started to shake from the strain.

�I don�t want to let you go. I won�t let you go,� he sobbed.

�You�re not letting me go,� she said, leaning down to whisper in his ear. �We both have phones.�

�Your new house doesn�t have a phone,� he pointed out.

�But I�m going to get one. I promise that you�ll be the first one I call.�

Lars nodded. �I love you.�

�I love you too.�

They both leaned forward for a kiss. . .

*****

Lars buried his face in her shoulder as his breath caught in his throat from that painful memory. Selina pulled away from him just enough to brush the hair from his face.

�Are you ok?� she asked with genuine concern.

He nodded. �I�m just really happy to see you,� he whispered as he loosely hugged her again.

�We can talk in the hotel tonight,� she whispered.

A coo from across the room made both of them look up. Kirk and Jason were staring at them with their heads laying against each other�s. They both sighed.

Lars and Selina rolled their eyes as the door opened. �Time for sound check, you guys.�

~*~

Selina giggled and let out a high-pitched noise as Kirk grabbed her and poured ice-cold water over her head. �ACK! STOP IT!�

�That�s what you get for saying that Edna should be trashed!� he yelled, trying to maintain a grip on her writhing form. �I will NEVER EVER trash a guitar!�

�It was a joke! I�m sorry, I�m sorry!� she sputtered between laughs.

Kirk let her go. �Mmhmm. I don�t want to hear you saying shit like that again. . . Next time, I�ll have James douse you in beer,� he smirked.

�Selina, I need to talk to you for a second,� Lars said as he walked over to them. He looked her up and down. �What the hell have you been doing?�

Selina laughed as Kirk answered, �She�s been talking trash! That�s what she�s been doing!�

�Oh. Well you should keep that look, it looks good on you,� he grinned.

�Hey! That is sexual harassment and I don�t have to take it!�

�Like you don�t enjoy it. . .� Kirk narrowed his eyes at her as he took a sip of water.

�Yeah, I need to talk to you,� Lars repeated. He took Selina by the arm and led her away, out of hearing range from everyone. �There�s something I need to tell you.�

Selina jumped on one of the equipment boxes. �You alright?�

�Yeah, I�m fine. I just. . .� He let out a breath. �I�m engaged.�

�Oh congratulations!� She jumped off the box and kissed him on the cheek.

Lars was confused, but before he could ask her anything, James shouted from across the room.

�HEY! Quit fucking! We need to get to the hotel!�

Selina mock-glared at him. �Shut the fuck up! You�re just jealous that you aren�t getting any!� she smiled.

�Regardless, we need to get the fuck out of here,� Kirk chimed in.

�Is there anything else?� she asked, turning back to Lars.

He snapped out of his thoughts. �Huh? No.�

�Ok. C�mon then. If you want to talk about anything else, you can come to my room later, alright?� she offered, walking towards James and Kirk.

Lars reluctantly followed, nodding his head, lost in thought. He felt somewhat disappointed in how Selina reacted, but he was baffled as to why. What did he want her to act like? Angry? Sad? Jealous?

Crossing his arms, he battled this out in his head as he followed them out.

~~~

Chapter Three

Lars waited by his door that night in his hotel room, listening for Selina and Kirk to come back. The sounds of laughter informed him that they were finally heading down the hall. As they got nearer, the opened the door, cutting of their laughter abruptly.

�Can I talk to you?� he asked in a small voice, looking at Selina.

�Sure, I�ll leave.� Kirk gave Selina a friendly kiss. �I�ll see you guys tomorrow. Sweet dreams, goodnight.�

Selina and Lars chorused goodnights after him as he disappeared into his own room.

�So is this like the type of talk we can do here or is it the kind that we need to get comfortable for?� Selina smiled.

Lars found himself grinning back as his heart skipped a beat. �I think we need to get comfy. . .�

�Uh oh. . .� Selina turned around and opened the door with her keycard, flipping on the lights. �Want something to drink?�

�Yeah, sure. What do you have?�

�Water.� She started laughing.

He smiled. �Sure.�

Selina handed him a bottle, taking a sip of her own. �So what�s happened to you these past few years? Well, besides the engagement.�

�Nothing worth mentioning besides that. Look, I just wanted to tell you that I didn�t plan on getting engaged--�

�Don�t worry--�

�Just let me say this, ok?. . .Not one day has gone by that I haven�t thought about you. And like I said, I didn�t plan on getting engaged. *She* proposed,� he laughed. �And to tell you the truth, I had a hard time accepting it. . .because I always thought that we would meet again some day. . . But after a LOT of convincing on Kirk�s part that I wouldn�t, I said yes. . . But now you�re back. . .�

�Before you say anything else, don�t break up your engagement over me. Our time together was long ago and it�s passed now.�

Looking down, Lars hung his head.

�Hey. . .� Selina said, crouching to make eye contact with him. �Everything�s fine, we�ve just both moved on.�

�But I don�t want to move on. . .� Lars thought.

�So tell me about this chick,� she grinned, taking another sip of water.

Smiling faintly, Lars began, �Well, her name is Stephanie. . .�

~*~

�Would you two stop it?! I�m trying to work here!� Selina yelled in a motherly tone at James and Kirk, even though she was grinning.

Kirk was about to shoot a remark back at her when something across the arena caught his eye. �Hey, Lars and Steph are here.�

�That�s her?!� Selina exclaimed, looking over the preppy girl. How could Lars go from someone like Selina to someone like *her*?

�What�s wrong with her?� James teased.

�Nothing, she�s just so. . .�

�Not you?�

She glared at Kirk as Lars approached them.

�Selina, this is Stephanie, my fiance. Stephanie, Selina,� he introduced.

Politely shaking hands and smiling the best she could, Selina tried to hold down the bile threatening to rise in her throat. She could feel the color slowly draining from her face as she let go of Stephanie�s hand. She had to get away from this.

�Um, would you excuse me for a moment?� Not waiting for an answer, she hopped off the box she was perched on and walked towards the bathrooms, a dizzying feeling starting in her head. . .

~*~

�What was wrong with you?� Kirk immediately asked as she stepped out of the bathroom. After flushing her face with cold water, she felt a little better. At least she wasn�t shaking so badly now.

�What do you mean?�

�Before you left. You know what I�m talking about--�

�Nothing was wrong with me. I just started feeling a little sick.�

�I know you better than that. . .even though it�s been a few years, I can still read you like a book.�

Selina looked up into his intense eyes, eyes that were studying her every move. She forced a smile. �I just. . . I thought I was ok with all of this, but it�s turning out that I�m not. . .�

�You know, I don�t think Lars is as ok as he seems either,� he blurted.

She sighed.

�Look, it�s understandable. You were both practically inseparable there for a while.�

�Yeah,� she smiled. �After he stopped being an asshole to me, that is.�

They both laughed. . .

*****

Selina stormed into the break room, ready to kill. �Where the fuck is that Danish little prick?!� she demanded, yelling just about at the top of her lungs. James, Kirk, and Jason looked at her, wide-eyed. Lars had really dug himself a deep grave this time.

�I have no idea. Weren�t you gonna leave?� James asked curiously.

�I *was* but that�s kinda hard to do when I don�t have my GODDAMN KEYS!!!� she shouted.

�And you think Lars took �em?� Kirk questioned.

�Oh I *know* he did. He�s the only one that would be dumb enough to do it. . .and besides, he�s the only one that knows where I put them. I swear to the Gods, I am going to fucking kill him. . .� she muttered. �None of you have any idea--�

Lars chose this unfortunate moment to walk into the room, freezing in his tracks when he saw Selina and the looks on everyone�s faces. James grinned, knowing there was about to be a fight.

�RUN, LARS, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!� Kirk yelled.

�Why--OOMPH!� Lars barely had time to think before he was slammed against the wall, knocking the breath out of him. Selina�s hand squeezed tightly around his throat.

�GIVE ME MY FUCKING KEYS!!!� she screamed. James, Kirk, and Jason stood up and rushed over as soon as Lars hit the wall.

�Come on, Lina. . .don�t kill the drummer. . .� James coaxed, trying to pry her fingers from around Lars� neck.

�Yeah,� Kirk joined in. �If you kill him, you won�t ever find out where your keys are.� He put an arm around her waist to pull her away from Lars whenever James succeeded in loosening her grip from his throat, which he finally did. Kirk then quickly pulled her away from the little Dane, who fell to the floor, slumping against the wall and gasping for air. He rubbed his throat and coughed forcefully as Jason kneeled down beside him, checking to see if he was ok.

�I want my keys!� Selina shouted again as James and Kirk tried to restrain her.

�Chill out, Selina.�

�Let me go!�

�No! I�m not letting you go until you�re calm again,� James argued.

Selina twisted and turned until she wrestled her way out of their grips, shoving Kirk away from her and turning to attack Lars again when James stood in her way.

�You tell that goddamned little leprechaun that if I don�t get my keys back in the next five seconds, I�m quitting and taking my tapes with me,� she growled.

James quickly turned to Lars, who was in the process of struggling to his feet with the help of Jason.

Hearing her threat, Lars took her keys from his pocket and tossed the to James, who immediately handed them to Selina. She snatched them from his angrily, shoving her way past him on her way out. As she passed Lars, she punched him hard in the chest.

�Fucker,� she muttered. She threw open the door and stormed out.

�God! That fucking hurt!� He turned to the other guys, grinning.

�You fucking deserve it, man. You�ve gone way too far with her over the past few days,� Kirk stated.

�All I did was take her keys.�

�That was simply the last straw and you know it. You�ve been putting her through fucking Hell. You�ve been way harsher on her than anything we ever did to Jason--�

�Bullshit!� Jason interjected. �You must have been too drunk to remember anything you guys did to me.�

�Jase, we never put you on a plane to Prague with no trips back to the U.S. for five days.�

�She was fine!� Lars defended himself. �She knew the language!�

His bandmates stared at him.

�Oh shut up, she�s fine,� he dismissed, glancing back at the door. �God! She is so fucking hot!�

This last surprise comment had James and Jason burst into laughter while Kirk smiled at Lars� sudden change in feeling towards her.

�I thought you hated her.�

�But did you see that?! RAWR!�

�You�ve got this thing with being dominated, don�t you?� he asked, smirking.

�Yeah. Totally. . .�

*****

Kirk kissed her tenderly on the forehead. �You�ll be ok. Both of you.� He left as the opening notes to �The Ecstasy of Gold� began to play.

Lars gave Selina a concerned look before being nudged up the stairs by James. . .

~~~

TBC. . .